playlist
there’s a comforting salve to the quality of midday in summer that you spend sad and alone, something about the scent of honey lifting from the trees and the commotion of people on streets that reassures you that the cave is temporary, but there are different degrees of temporary. i will do anything to feel less like this. inject the pain of our old playlist up my veins for some relief, the soundtrack of that world we shared. do you think of me?
you feel stuck in place like a spider with all its legs plucked off. why do some things belong to some people and not others? i love you so much but you are gone and you were never here, i don’t love you at all because there is no you, there was only me and i still don’t understand that, when i was with you i listened to my own music and wore my own clothes and slept in my own bed, you weren't there, i was too subtle yet obvious enough, it’s like swallowing a pill and it just barely goes down the right tube, there’s a clenching sensation at the top of your throat and you feel like throwing up, i miss you so much, i love you, i don’t want to sound cliche but there is nothing else left to say.